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One of the best ways of having a good, healthy and wholesome chat with your girlfriend is to start with small talk. The small talk will give you a general picture about her likes and dislikes, as well as what she would like to discuss and what she would rather leave alone. Once the small talk gives you a general idea, you can go ahead and discuss your common likes and dislikes.
But what is really freaking you are those moment of silence. Uhh... horrible moments. :) The key to avoid or get over these horrible moments are:
1. Compliment her
The fact is most people are shy about meeting new people. I used to be enormously shy. But when you think about it, shyness is merely a fear that others won't like you, or that you may be rejected in some way. It's natural for us to desire acceptance. So try to make her know that you like her by making a compliment. But find something that you really find attractive about her, about her lifestyle or her personality. She will become more confident and more open to share her believes and her shyness won�t be a problem for a fluid conversation.
2. Asking open questions
How you ask questions is very important in establishing a basis for an effective communication. Effective questions open the door to knowledge and understanding. The art of questioning lies in knowing which questions to ask when.
My favorites questions are "why" and "how" questions. You can use these frequently without being annoying. She will feel that you are interested in what she is telling you and will develop her answers.
Therefore, you should think carefully before speaking and taking up subjects that might be repugnant to her.
3. Listen, listen, and listen.
Usually when the woman starts talking about her favorite subjects (feelings, family, relationships, friends and her work) many men lose interest or bring the conversation back to themselves. This is one of the biggest mistake men are doing all the time.
They also like to exchange jokes and anecdotes and spend a fair amount of time playing one-up and boasting. Stop doing that!!!
Allow HER to have HER points of view, while you have yours. Men have felt like they have either had to abandon their own beliefs in order to try to get a woman, OR they had to fight with women about what they believe in. Both approaches lead to failure.
She is not there with you just to hear about your hero "qualities", but to have a great time!
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