Discussing sex incorrectly or at the wrong time with your partner can lead to a number of undesirable consequences. You should not want your date to judge you, and you don't want your discussion to be marked with anger. Because many people are afraid of these problems, they are very shy when it comes to talking about sex with their partner. At the same time, if you are comfortable enough to have sex with someone, you should also be able to discuss it with them. However, one of the most difficult aspects of sex is bringing it up with someone you that you've never discussed the topic with before.
My advice to you is to avoid bringing up the subject of sex on the first date. It may very well be a recipe for disaster. Bringing up the discussion of sex on the first date will convey a message that you are not interested in their personality, but are instead simply focused on sex. This is perhaps one of the fastest ways to end a date. To avoid this problem, you must use self control. Get to know the person first before trying to immediately bring up the discussion of sex. You should take the time to become comfortable with the person you are dating. Once you have been on multiple dates with a person, and the two of you are more comfortable with each other, you can then bring up the discussion.
Even then, this should be done in a cordial manner. Avoid using vulgar words or expressions. You could ask the person if they are interested in spending more quality time with you alone. More often than not, this will convey the message that you are trying to get across, and they will either accept it or reject it. If your request is rejected, they will likely have a reason for it, and talking to them about it can allow you to learn more. In most cases, the person may want to get to know you better, or they may have a specific period of time they wish to wait before they engage in sexual relations with their partner.
If you respect your date, you will understand this. It is wise to avoid trying to pressure someone into doing something they don't want to do. When they are ready, it will be much better for the both of you. Sex is a sensitive topic, and people will have their own beliefs based on their culture, religion, and upbringing. It is important for you to understand this.
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Ron Zvagelsky has a degree in Business Administration from the University of Southern California. He graduated Magna Cum Laude in May 2006. He is currently the Chief Executive Officer of PlanJam -- a new interactive planning website for relationship advice and dating advice.
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