Everything’s easy these days, well, as long as you don’t count things like Council Tax forms, playing the oboe and giving birth then pretty much every aspect of daily life is quicker, easier and more convenient than it was 20 or even 10 years ago. Simple tasks, such as shopping for the family or writing a letter, that might previously have taken hours to complete are now the work of minutes, or rendered obsolete entirely. Coupled with an increased level of convenience comes a much stronger emphasis on productivity and commitment in the workplace; working hours are on the up and leisure time is decreasing. People are spending less time at home or socialising outside of a work environment.
In line with the increased convenience of daily life have come many developments in the dating field; new concepts such as speed dating have sprouted in recent years. Online dating, a natural technological extension of the old concept of personal ads in newspapers and magazines, has seen a massive upswing in popularity of late and has shed much of the taboo and stigma that surrounded the print ad approach. Instant messenger software and SMS text messaging have introduced the ability to communicate quickly and easily with others anywhere in the world at any time. In light of all this, are we forgetting about one thing that we used to hold, quite literally, very close to our hearts? Is our burgeoning love affair with convenience and spontaneity undermining our age-old fondness for good, old-fashioned romance?
Think of it this way: in days gone by our scope of communication was limited; we simply did not have the facility to be in contact with so many people in such varied circumstances so quickly and easily. The effect of this was that, in general, we were forced to be more careful and considered in the communication we did have with our acquaintances. Nowadays communication is cheap, easy and widespread; we are less contemplative in general due to our crammed and hurried lifestyle and we have less time for each other as individuals. It is difficult to see how,in such circumstances, the slow-paced, often cumbersome trappings of courtship and traditional romance can fail to suffer or be superseded. Why turn up on the doorstep with flowers when you can flirt over IM? Why write a love letter when you can send a saucy text? Of course, I and countless other romantics know the answer to these questions, namely that it is simply better and more satisfying to do things in this way (ok so that's hardly a reasoned argument, but since when did romance bow to reason?), but it is a sad fact that modern culture systematically disregards satisfaction in favour of convenience; if you need an illustration of this point, try to remember the last deeply satisfying meal you had from a high street fast food outlet.
But what are the implications of this? Will the death of romance herald less whimsical changes ahead for our society or will it just be sad old (or young) romantics like me who mourn its passing? Many might say the latter, but consider this: by learning slowly and carefully to love another human being we learn a great deal, not only about other human beings but about our own capacity to love, care about and interact with others. Can we, in a society blighted by rudeness and hard-hearted self interest and a world divided by vicious wars and entrenched ideological differences, really afford to lessen our capacity to love and care for one another any further? Why not write a love letter, or cut someone special some flowers today?
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Croydon J Hounslow works for a top free dating and chat site in the UK
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